Rest III


I’m sitting down to think, to think about resting.

I’m trying to focus my thoughts in one thing only just to feel better but my mind betrays me.

My mind gets to the blog:  What to post? About “rest”, Carora’s tale, silence or nothing.
Immediately afterwards comes the concern of the composition to be performed (instrumentation, rhythm and possible samples),
then my brain bounce between the idea of the song and the publication.

A vibration starts. Unbearable. Overwhelming.

As a supposed method of mental liberation I start to think in any other stuff.

I remember the article I have to write. I have written almost nothing. I need a clear idea of the main plot. Should I think about it right now?. Later?
I have to start the recording of La Dirección de las Varas, I have to rehearse the accordion parts and check the last version of the score.
Perhaps after the piano lesson. I didn’t study a note.
I would love to study piano before writing the music for the film Horas Extra…

So my brain continues from one project to another, generating new vibrations with different frequencies each one. One faster than the other, almost double, almost half, but never enough to be harmonious. One by one they are all overlapping. The ideas, the attempts of ideas and the involved and isolated responsibilities begin to pile up, slowly, in a heavy schizophrenic sensation.

Meanwhile the day is passing by. At night the physical fatigue – the weakness of the body -, the silhouettes of marginalized people, and the brain vibrating waves search for a place to rest, a place to stop for a few seconds.

I may be able to read some philosophy, a novel or Borges.
Maybe write. I will write a couple of lines.
Sleep. I should sleep.
Or analyze the events of the day.

Tomorrow I will start thinking, thinking about resting.

…I write some music and lie down.

SongLink via SoundCloud:
http://soundcloud.com/xavierlosada/descanso-iii

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