Hope


frus·tra·tion
Function: noun
Date: circa 1555
1 : the act of frustrating
2 a : the state or an instance of being frustrated b : a deep chronic sense or state of insecurity and dissatisfaction arising from unresolved problems or unfulfilled needs
3 : something that frustrates

Just in the middle of a hunch of frustrated career I dropped my forehead on the piano and started recording my hands over the keys. I wasn’t looking for consolation. I just wanted to capture this feeling in music. After a few minutes I putted my fingers where my forehead laid a few seconds before.

Frustration2

It is not shameless to find yourself defeated by you before a lifeless piano – in the face of a dependant piano. It is not shameless to be anchored to a non-wish-idea that constantly gets lost… that is nothing.

I don’t want to hear my hands cry again. I don’t want to ask for help in such a pitiful way again. I don´t want to feel that sort of fever again. I feel lost day and night, I doubt about every action and idea I have, about every relationship. Today, I can´t find who is trying to block my efforts… propably in vain.

Today, after think and walk, I became hope.

hope
Function: noun
Date: before 12th century
1 archaic : trust, reliance
2 a : desire accompanied by expectation of or belief in fulfillment ; also : expectation of fulfillment or success b : someone or something on which hopes are centered c : something hoped for

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